Sunday, 9 February 2014

Written in blood-debarred

Morning 7 o’clock: ‘tin-tin-tin-tin-tin-tin-tin-tintintintin’, went my alarm-clock, the noise was blaring. I checked the time-7 o’clock.I told myself, ’I can sleep for 5 more minutes.’ I put it on snooze.

5 minutes later: I was in a beautiful orchard, a strawberry orchard, picking ripe strawberries and eating them with fresh cream. Oh, what bliss. When suddenly, a giant fat man came with a huge bell and started ringing it. It went like, ‘tin-tin-tin-tin-tin-tin-tin-tintintintin’. It was my alarm, again-7:05, it said. I made a quick decision-‘No bathing today, it will give me another 20 minutes’. This thing within me kept shouting, ‘remember that red debarred sign next to 4 of your theories…GET UP. If you go on like this, you will bunk this class again. GET UP.’ I made that thing shut up and set the alarm to 7:25.

During those 20 minutes: ‘And, to all you wonderful sleep-deprived students who have to stay up late in the night for important stuff like ‘facebook’,’phone-conversations’, ‘watching-movies’ and ‘absolutely nothing’, I have an announcement to make,”I truly understand the significance of all these useless activities in your college life. They play an important role in shaping you all as NORMAL,non-Chatur (remember, 3 idiots) and socially un-deprived individuals. I understand that after staying up late for all these activities, it is difficult for you to get up early and go for your classes. Knowledge cannot be taught, it has to be caught. Moreover, since our vision is on granting knowledge-not marks, we have arrived on the decision of removing the 75% attendance rule. No student shall hereafter be debarred in any subject”‘. A loud applause followed. My friends and I in the audience went all misty eyed. ‘I am proud to be a VITian’, I exclaimed with joyful tears. Then suddenly, that giant fat man with the bell emerged again, this time with an evil grin,’ tin-tin-tin-tin-tin-tin-tin-tintintintin.’

7:25 AM: The alarm again, ‘I knew it, it was too good to be true. But still, I don’t want to wake up!’ That thing within me again started ganging up against me, ‘DEBARRED DEBARRED DEBARRED…it said in repetitive Bollywood style. ‘Okay fine’, I shouted back, ’I am waking up.’ Then, again, I started negotiating with myself-10 more minutes, if I miss breakfast. I can always have it in SJT canteen during the 10 minute break. ‘Don’t do it’, my mind was shouting again,’you will never get up, you are DEBARRED...if you miss this class, considering all attendance calculations you've made in the past, you will have to attend each and every class in order to make it 75%.Are you ready for it!’
I almost said, ‘Challenge accepted’, I have been watching too much of How I Met Your Mother, seriously! Then, with whatever little sense that was left in me, I told myself, ‘I will get up, promise…in 5 minutes.‘ Snoozed again.

7:30 AM: This time there was no,’tin-tin-tin’, the alarm tone magically changed to, ‘debarred-DEBARRED-DEBARRED-DEBARRED.’ Needless to say, it was way more effective. I jumped from my bed right on my feet.
And, in those 30 minutes, I managed it all-the brushing, the bathing, the breakfast and reaching the class (customary-five minute late, of course).

Certainly, the deadly red-debarred sign can work wonders.