“What is your true calling?”, “What is that one thing that you crave to do every waking moment of your life?”, “What is it that you’re meant for Riya?”, he threw one question after another at her.
“Umm…I don’t know. I like to dance sometimes and sometimes I like to read. Sometimes, I just want to delve deeper into aerospace engineering; leave everything aside and just design those magnificent planes. Sometimes, I love to see those planes get lost in the skies as I marvel at their beauty, at the sheer brilliance of their design. Sometimes, I just like to sit and think about…about you and the next exotic place where we will make love and everything you would do to my body and I would do to yours. Oh…I love all of it and crave to do all of it every single day. How do you get to know Rehaan? How do you know what your true calling is?”
“Not like that. I mean…okay, think about this. What if I told you that you don’t have to care about money? Would you still continue doing this job? What if you had all the money in the world and you just had to do whatever you enjoy doing? What will choose to do then? What is your passion? What is that makes your eyes twinkle with joy? What is it that you would put all your heart and soul into and not breathe a word about the hard work that you have put in? What is it Riya? "
“Do you mind if I kiss you before I answer this? I mean…I am seeing you after six months. Do we really need to have this conversation right now?”
“Well…you totally can and my manhood would be put on question if I say no, but I would still say no because I do not think we can go back to having a conversation if you come any closer to me. We need to talk about this first. What do you want out of life, Riya? I have quit my job because I knew I wanted to start something of my own. Quitting my well-paying job, moving from a sprawling 3BHK apartment in gated community with a swimming pool to a tiny 1 BHK which four sweaty boys who do not even bathe every day, was not exactly an easy decision for me. I had to go through the month in 10k and days went by when we would just live on Top-Ramen for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It was hard, more hard than my vocabulary can allow me to describe. But you know what, I did not complain. I did not complain at any point of time because I was passionately in love with my work. And I swear to the lords, nothing…nothing compares to happiness I felt when we got the venture capital funding. I was ecstatic. It has been a huge struggle for me and it will continue to be so for say 1,2 or even 3 years…who knows! But, I don’t mind the struggle because I enjoy the work that I am doing. Do you feel that way about your work Riya? Have you come even close to figuring out what you’re meant for? You’re just doing this job because it’s convenient. Because why would you try so hard to figure out what you would really enjoy doing when it is so convenient to let life make choices for you.”
“Rehaaan…stop it. I’m tired of this constant pressure to find a mould for myself to fit in…finding where I belong, finding that one thing that my heart will ache to do even if it’s five in the morning and I haven’t been sleeping well since the past two days because the love of my life chose to surprise me on a weekday. Well, I guess I know what it is…my passion…it’s you Rehaan.”, Riya said playfully and started caressing his hair.
“No, I’m serious Riya. What is it that describes you best? Who are you?”
“Why do I have to be someone specific Rehaan. Why do I have to be rigid enough and find a mould which will fit me? Maybe I am not meant for one particular thing. Maybe I am not meant to be a master. I guess I am a jack and however notorious they may sound; they are not all that bad after all. I like spending hours designing planes on AutoCAD. Sometimes I do it because I genuinely enjoy designing those structures and sometimes I do it even when I am terribly bored because I love money...like a lot; more than I love you, maybe.”, she winked.
“I love to keep taking these notes on my phone whenever a strong thought strikes me and I make sure I write about it whenever I get time. I think writing is an emotional release of sorts for me. I like it as much as I like designing those planes. And then sometimes…sometimes I just want to dance my heart, muscles and feet out. I have no idea whether that line makes sense but yeah…sometimes I just want to dance to my soul’s content, dance till my feet ache and I fall down on the floor exhausted. Yes, I want to continue dancing till then.
And you. Oh, I love you! I can spend hours and days and months just being around you and the most boring job in the world will become fascinating if you’re just around me. I think you define me Rehaan, as much as anything else that I love doing does. I don’t think I want to go ahead and do something extraordinary to make a difference in the world. I just want to do my part well enough and eventually I will make a difference. I don’t know what is that one thing that defines me Rehaan. I think I am bits and pieces of many things put together and all those things complete me. I cannot choose one. It would be unjust to choose one. What do I really want out of life, you asked. I think it is to go to bed each day smiling to myself, content with the way I spent my time. I think this is what I really want out of life. Maybe I am ordinary Rehaan, but I love being ordinary. Ordinary is content, happy and beautiful.”
“You don’t always make sense but when you do, I end up falling madly in love all over again with you. Oh…you were right it has been way too long. I have almost forgotten what your lips feel like. Can we make mad love like today is going to be our last day alive?”
And then they kissed while he caressed each curve of her body and she felt his chest after what seemed like an eternity. And then they made love and it was nothing like ordinary. Yet, it was beautiful, content and happy. Also, it was magical!
Very well written Charul. You captured a very relevant contemporary issue where both partners are working in the form a beautiful conversation. Its really common to find a couple where one partner is really ambitious and the other is so simple that he/she enjoys having a zero signature and taking the pleasures of life as it is (enjoying the flow). This leads to tensions. Care turns into suggestion. Suggestions into Persuasiveness. Persuasiveness to being pushy. And then the pressure snaps out the happiness. It is really essential to understand that sometimes being simple is a choice. Opting out of discussions is not being "uninterested". Participation is not the only gesture of love and care. And ambition is not always goal oriented.ReplyDelete
Good work Charul. :)
You understood the emotions so well Akshay :). These days there is such neck-throat competition. You're not considered good enough if you don't have maddening, pulsating ambition to just turn the world upside down. We undermine simplicity and the ordinary. I think ordinary is beautiful :) And thank you :)Delete
Age 0-16 is of simplicity where we discover and define ourselves. 17-22 we are compared and made to compete and compared on parameters defined by society. 22-34 we forget our own definition and compete with ourself. By the time we realize... its half the life wasted. I like being Riya but am pushed to become Rehan. My passion pushes me to become the best Rehan though... and I forget being Riya. :)Delete
Oh my God Akshay! You confused me. You are Riya whose passion makes him Rehaan. Oh, god...it's too confusing :DDelete
Oh I loved it so much..I really look forward to reading ur write ups my lil girl..and indeed ordinary is so beautiful...ReplyDelete
Thank you, love :)Delete
It's like with every post, I'm counting the references I know :PReplyDelete
Too romc-com-y in the end.. kind of deviates from the point! :)