Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Why you should NOT date a vegetarian(If you're not one, of course)

You’d be in maniacal love with non-vegetarian food if you’re one. Pretty naturally, you’d feel like ordering non-veg every time you go out to eat (in any case what choice does vegetarian food has to offer you-Paneer, paneer and more paneer…phew!).How do vegetarians survive…I mean, seriously…there’s so much of awesomeness that they’re missing in life.
Anyway, coming back to the point…you have two options when you’re eating out with your girlfriend/boyfriend.

Firstly, throw yourself on the altar of sacrifice and order vegetarian food. Then, keep looking at the other table’ s succulent chicken and fish dishes with coveting greed. And suffer, or choose option two-so, what if your partner is a vegetarian…you can always order non-veg for yourself and enjoy your meal. And, that is where you get it all wrong…you can never completely ENJOY your meal if you’re with them…following are the major spoilers:
  • They would refuse to look at you and your plate…making you feel like an untouchable.
  •  Every time you’d pick up a leg-piece, they’d give you those, ‘you-have-committed-a-MURDER’ looks.
  • You’d almost hear them say to themselves, ‘You know that lovely animal (s)he’s chewing away to glory, he was playing hide and seek with his friend some time back. Exactly then, this cruel woman/man groped that poor thing away and dashed his brains out. She/He did not even let him finish the game. Oh, what horror…what horror!’
  • They’d be this point when you will start hearing voices like, ’They say human flesh is the tastiest and softest. You never know, today it’s that poor little chicken…it may be me tomorrow.’
  • They won’t share their shakes with you, saying that you cannot use the same straw.
  • They would not come close to you, complaining that you SMELL of non-veg food!
  • They would keep sending you animal slaughter videos.
  • And, the MOST IMPORTANT…they would refuse to kiss you. Because, logically kissing you would mean that they've turned into non-vegetarians too :O.

And, then…even after choosing the second option…you would suffer! So, there’s clearly no-escaping the suffering.
But, then in case you do end up with a vegetarian, there are some points which can make your side stronger in case you are arguing over the immorality surrounding non-veg food. You might just use these points :
  • Having non-vegetarian food is necessary…because…umm…otherwise…the food-cycle will get disrupted…the ecological balance will get ruined and then they’d be too many herbivores and they’d eat away the entire grasslands…and then…the world will turn into a desert…and…then…we’ll all die…earth will die. So, clearly we are having non-vegetarian food to save Mother Earth…it’s for a noble cause :D.
  • Humans are supposed to be omnivores…didn't you study that in the Biology books in class 5…so, it’s natural for us to each flesh. If, it wouldn't be natural and ethical, they wouldn't have mentioned it the NCERT books. Blame them, not us.
  • Plants have life too. Just because they can’t cry out in pain doesn't mean they can’t feel it. So, if eating them is justified, then eating animals is justified too.

     I think one of them might help! :D

P.S-No offence meant to anyone, my favourite people are vegetarians :) . 


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. LOl...this always happens with me..but we have a majority of non-vegs in our group so we end up insulting the poor vegetarian..and make him pay the same divided bill which we do..;))

    1. I know,it's a little hard dining with the vegetarians at times...especially the 'staunch' vegetarians.They eventually get used to it, though ! :D :P

  3. i read all your posts...and amazing is the word you deserve....
    Seriously, write a novel......and it will be one of the best sellers..

  4. Thankyou so much. It's one of the best compliments I've ever recieved :).
    P.S-Comment through your own profile, it's always a better feeling to reply to a real profile than a grey picture with Anonymous as the username :).

  5. hey, its damn funny! i was sad n nw i am damn ticklish everywhere!! thnks to u!! keep writing!!:*

    1. :) :) Thankyou, I'm glad it made you enjoyed the humour ! Will certainly keep writing!

  6. Really? oh well, tell me more -_-

  7. Hahahahaha.. Nice one.. I don't know disadvantage of having a veg gf but having a veg manager is something too fishy in my office life .. Lol hahahahaha :P