Love is the purest feeling they say. They lie, I say.
That day I saw you for the first time and the way you were looking for an excuse to speak to me…I knew right then that you had fallen for me. Remember how you felt that I didn’t even notice you…I faked it…I noticed you…everything about you. From that small scar on top of your eyebrow to the small mole on your upper lip…I noticed it all. Love is not truthful all the times, it lies sometimes…it fakes.
That time when I flatly refused to be the least interested in you…I totally was. I just wanted to see if I mean so much for you that you’d wait. Love doubts…it mistrusts.
When you told me that you might have to go to a different college, because you got selected there and it’s way better academically, remember how I acted all ‘oh-I-am-so-happy-for-you’. I wasn’t completely happy for you…a huge part of me grieved…grieved for itself. I didn’t want you to go. Love is selfish…just a bit…but it is.
You know those times when I act all broadminded refusing to give a damn about you being close to those REALLY pretty girls. I actually do give a damn…way more than that. A part of me burns when I see you treating them even remotely close to the way you treat me. Those big talks about giving ‘space’…I don’t know how they go down the drain so quickly. That’s when I realize that theory and practice are two very different things. It takes a lot of self-persuasion to tell myself that you have all the rights in the world to be very close friends with a girl…even if she is insanely beautiful. Oh, love is a jealous thing…and possessive too…very, very possessive.
There are these times when I pinch you really hard with the bitterest things in the planet. I do it on purpose. I just want to see if you would STILL love me…if you would still love me as much. Trust me, I am not this mean or heartless. It’s just love that makes me do this. It can be heartless at times.
And most importantly, remember when I say that I’d always love you…that is the biggest lie. The truth is that I’d love you only as long as you’d love me or maybe a little longer or maybe, a lot longer. But, then gradually it’ll begin to die…and that love for you will transform into hate. Hatred will meet a similar fate…it will grow only to diminish again. Eventually, they will all be replaced by one feeling-indifference and that will sustain forever.
Love is evil…I tell you…it’s pure evil!