Monday 21 November 2022

A little bit of a Londoner!

I should have worn the waterproof mascara. Crying in the flight is a bad idea especially when the airhostess is giving you emergency landing instructions. I decided to write my little tribute to London on the flight because I needed to bid a fitting good bye...and words are all I have sometimes, most of the times. And apparently, raw emotions make for compelling writing.

But this is just so difficult. What do I write about you, London? What could be a meaningful tribute! You've been so wonderful on most days London, but also so painful and lonely on so many others. This feels like a breakup. But like a good breakup (if there is such thing). A breakup with a partner who is incredibly amazing but somehow could not be just right for you. And it's so painful to part with them because you wish you could make the relationship work.

I'll miss you, London. I'll miss the privilege of casually watching a Westend musical on any given evening, and always having 50 shows to choose from. I'll miss the red buses. I'll miss them a lot. I'll miss walking to Barbican Centre and writing there quietly for hours, and marveling every time at how such a spectacular location was freely accessible to everyone. I'll miss the parks – the ducks at Regent’s Park, and views from Primrose Hill. I'll miss nonchalantly walking by the London Bridge and not gasping at its beauty every single time. How I took your beauty for granted! I'll miss Tate Modern. I'll the privilege of living in a gorgeous Victorian house with a fireplace. I'll miss the tube. I'll miss the glorious display of diversity every single day on the streets of London. I'll miss the spontaneity of a whimsical weekend getaway in an exotic European city. I'll also miss the absolute unpredictability of the weather. And needlessly discussing it all the time, with everyone. Oh God, I'll miss you London.

Thank you for the beautiful people, London. They say it’s tough to build genuine friendships as you grow older. I remember coming to you being so stuck up with my best friends home that I almost did not give space for new friendships to bloom. But I am glad I gradually let people in, and how lucky am I to have found so many incredibly intelligent, funny, creative and lovable people. All of them so unique and beautiful.

London, you have been so transformational for me and taught me so much. These three years have pushed me to grow immensely in aspects both big and small. I have so much to be grateful for, but my biggest accomplishment is easily my dramatically improved map reading abilities. Heck, I even lead the navigation on some walking excursions now. I can set better boundaries than I could three years ago (this is massive work in progress but it's something). For the first time in a long time, I have actually enjoyed and felt fulfilled at work. You opened myriad of opportunities for me. Also, you introduced me to painting, and I think I am half decent at it.

You taught me to be perseverant, London. I would be lying if I say you weren't painful on a lot of days, London. Despite so much to do and so many lovely people, it was lonely and difficult many times. You pushed me to learn to love myself and my solitude a bit more. You also pushed me explore what else could be out there for me, and I am thankful for that.

Thank you for everything, London. So many beautiful memories, so many tears, so much hope. I think I will always be a little bit of a Londoner. On to, next! I hope you'll match the bar, Seattle❤.

4 comments:

  1. Darshika Mehrotra21 November 2022 at 03:41

    I felt very similar when I left the place. Took for granted a lot of its beauty . Like you said didn't gasp at its beauty enough. But still have unforgettable memories of the place. All the best dear for your next chapter.

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    1. London is lovely, isn't it? Thank you for the wishes!

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  2. Such a beautiful story. As I went on reading this piece, I felt like I am the author myself. Imbecile, emotional, naive me... bashfully rising, enbarrasing myself everyday, learning from my mistakes...First I learnt to dream and then to get real. To accept and explore and then to set boundaries...to learn and win, gain everyday, safekeep and then to let go...so many emotions...Miss you Charul...

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